Living Doll IIA

Echidne has written a post about the sex dolls written up in Salon this past week. I wrote about this a bit, and it's a very instructive exercise to compare my post to hers.

In my post, I really gave little thought to the deeper implications of these dolls beyond, hey, whatever floats your boat. I found the article interesting simply on the level of novelty and maybe as a statement of superficiality in our culture (dolls come in both sexes). Echidne gives quite an extended thoughtful impression from a female viewpoint after admitting some initial thought disarray. And her points are quite relevent and well taken. I experienced no disarray in my thoughts over the article, particularly while I was laughing at the poor schmuck having a picnic with his doll.

These two posts may, in a nutshell, show the very core of the differences between men and women when it comes to sex. It was certainly my clinical experience that men approached sex from a much more instrumental point of view. Specifically for men, sex is an instrument to feel good and to confirm that they are loved. Women, on the other hand, seemed to approach sex as an oh-by-the-way experience in the WHOLE relationship. Thus the old saying...men have sex to feel loved, women need to feel loved to have sex.

In a way, I don't think I gave the issue enough consideration. And in another way, I think echidne may be reading too much into the meaning of the dolls. This difference is exactly why couples need so much effective communication when it comes to negotiating their mutual needs...including sex. We just don't think the same.

I suppose these distinctions have existed forever and have an important biological basis. But I thought it kind interesting how two bloggers, one male and one female, manifested our gender differences in the treatment of this topic.